Mid-life has a dry ring to it. Chronologically I'm beyond what statistics say is the half-way point in the length of a woman's life in the U.S.; that puts me past mid-life. A year ago my youngest child graduated from high school, and our wonderful homeschooling adventure came officially to a stop. As a widow, and mother of two wonderful young adults, I was introduced last year to the concept of a "second calling;" and I have had the privilege of being able to take the time to listen to God's guidance. The past year has been one of MANY changes: learning to do new things, sometimes going around in circles, sometimes chasing my tail, stepping out in faith, second guessing, and losing my way a lot, wondering what I'm 'supposed to be doing during this season of my life,' drifting, being busy with whatever was coming my way, but wondering, all the time wondering.
Looking back over the past year, I don't think I've listened very well; thinking we are 'self-sufficient' is a deceptive, subtle, and very big lie. So I'm finding I need to go back to the beginning, to what has been termed "the ax-head principle": When I first started my "search engine" last summer, of trying to learn listen for God's direction, the first nudging was towards writing: ideas, experiences, life. It was an exciting idea, but having no experience in such writing, except for college papers and my private journal, the next question was "Really??"...and "I must have heard wrong..." or "OK, I'll start on paper" (which I did, for about two sentences). It was easier to experiment (at least in my head) with other possibilities, each one in its turn interesting, but none riveting. The ax first fell on the words "WRITE", so here I am again, and I figure I'd better listen this time. God is giving me another chance...I have come to understand that I am to write, not to decide what will come of it. That is in His hands.
No, "mid-life" is much too dry of a term. After all, this is the great adventure!
If there is anything in this journey that is a blessing to anyone who reads it, please know that is God's doing! I'm just learning to listen and to follow His guidance.
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